You are swept up with overthinking and anxiety about turning 30 (and overwhelmed with reflecting on the last decade of your life)

And it seems unthinkable to ask people in your life to help you because you don’t want to burden them. Your “people pleaser” part of your strikes again!

The deeper truth… the one you haven’t wanted to see…  the real reason is that you can’t trust anyone to know what direction fits best for you. 

But “come on”, you think. “I should stop complaining. My life isn’t that bad. My parents had it worse than me, so I should stop thinking about wanting more”. 

You feel guilty and ungrateful for what has been given to you. Yet another part of you feels something is missing. Relationships go wrong, work is not fulfilling, your education seems useless, adulthood is not what was promised to you (drilled into you even!). Not to mention existential anxiety and being forever in debt to your family. Cue the quarter life crisis.

LET’S LOOK INTO THOSE FEELINGS (CUE INTROSPECTION MUSIC AND DREAMY LIGHTS):

Growing up, you saw your parents getting by and you were sheltered, fed, and made it to college, however you went without having your emotional needs met. When did you get hugs or comfort when you had a tough day at school or who could you talk to when you were feeling like you didn’t fit in high school? Perhaps, the reality is that your parents could not attend to you emotionally because they were just trying to survive themselves.

How would it be for you to break the cycle? How would it be to be able to offer emotional depth and attunement to your future generations? The fact that your Asian American immigrant parents struggled to get you and your family where you are now is valid AND it’s up to you to continue to break the cycle for you and your future generations.

What would it be like to have a therapist be emotionally available to you, unlike what you received growing up? A therapist that is resourced, fully present, and ready to dig into the work with you week to week?